Five days til campo
Today was fast and testimony meeting. This was the first time that I was really able to understand most of what was said in an all-spanish meeting!! It made me almost wish that all of our english meetings today to be in Spanish so I can practice. I wasn't able to get up and share, but Elders Hansen, Henderson, Walker, Lee, Beardall and Wilwand from my district all bore their testimonies in beautiful (I'm using that description generously) hard-worked for and God given Spanish. Looking back it is really is amazing how far we've progressed. We're teaching full 20 minute lessons using only the scriptures after only 5 weeks! It's frustrating to not be able to understand everything or say everything you're thinking, but that will come with time. Rome wasn't built in a day, and I guess missionaries aren't in five weeks!
Today, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that without a doubt I was the best-dressed missionary in the CCM. (Centro de Capatacion Misional- I'm just realizing I never said what that stood for) Because today, I broke out my rain boots. They're called Bogs0 I don't know apparently that's a good brand and Elder Hill knew what they were and absolutely loved them. But they're about two and a half feet tall, the leg openings are about three times the size of my calves, they're the clompiest loudest things in existence, completely rubber and completely ridiculous. I wore my sweater vest and tied my tie so the knot was massive and the actual tie was about 3 inches long, and spiked my hair up kind of into a faux hawk. I looked like an idiot. And I loved it. I have never been complimented more for my appearance. And looking like this is how I got to meet my mission president again!! He and Sister Cluff came out with a few other presidents to visit, and I kinda stumbled out half-asleep into the hallway of our room after our break/nap in place of breakfast, yelling some dumb dad joke back at Elder Shipley. Then I looked up and saw all of the presidents and their wives standing in the hallway outside of our room! He looked at me and said "Elder Tadje, good to see you again! But... Why the boots??" I looked back at him kind of confusedly and just said- "Why not?" His wife started laughing and said "He's got a point dear," and then we shook hands and kinda went on with our days from there. But later on we were able to meet with both of them and all of the people going to City Central, and that was awesome! I have seldom felt more excited than I was in that moment. Christmas Eve's got nothin on this. His wife just kept saying how much we're going to come to love the people. And I can feel that already!! I want to get out there and share this gospel with these people. I want them to read the Book of Mormon. I want them to feel its power, and feel its truth. I want them to have this happiness that I have for themselves. I don't feel ready, but I want to get out there and start working. President Cluff talking about what it's gonna be like out there finally is making all of this seem real. but I feel more unprepared than ever... This is definitely the Lord's mission and it's gotta happen His way. It's Preach MY gospel- and we have to remember who the My is. We start preaching our own gospel, and it's all downhill from there. (And good luck getting converts) His gospel, His way. And sometimes things are gonna happen that are no fault of our own, and are just part of his plan.
President Cluff told a story about a man who asked Elder Bednar to heal him of his terminal cancer. Elder Bednar asked him: "Do you have the faith NOT to be healed?" Do we have the faith to submit to God's will and let ourselves become instruments in His hands? To literally let Jesus take the wheel, or let the master potter shape the clay of our lives? We talked about that analogy in seminary. For a potter to be able to work clay on a wheel, it must be centered completely and perfectly or it will fly off the wheel and be ruined. Are our lives centered completely on Christ so God can mold us into what He needs us to become? We watched an Elder Holland devotional tonight and he made an interesting analogy. Before he spoke, an Elder performed a cello solo. Before he did this he tuned it. Elder Holland put him on the spot and asked him why he hadn't tuned it that morning, or even right before his performance. He said that he had, but he tuned it again right before because he wanted to make sure it would be perfect. We are God's instruments. We have to be constantly tuning ourselves to Him and to the Spirit so that when we are called on to perform, we will be perfectly in tune and able to perform flawlessly. Because He needs us to be perfect. However, we have the Atonement for when we're not. The elder who blessed the sacrament today was a North American who struggled with the Spanish and ended up having to say the prayer four times. I stood there (in my boots) waiting to pass it, and I started thinking about the Continuous Atonement by Brad Wilcox. (If any of you haven't read this book- READ IT IT'S INCREDIBLE) In the beginning it talks about this same scenario- A priest who had to bless multiple times before he got it right. The Lord's standard of perfection could not be lowered- that wasn't an option. But the priest was allowed to try again. And again. And again until he got it perfectly. And even after however many tries it took, the result was the same as if he had gotten it right the first time. There was no penalty for failure, no revocation of blessings. With the Atonement, it was as if no mistake had ever been made. But Christ didn't just make up the difference- He made (and makes) ALL the difference. He knows that we are not perfect. Perfection is our long-term goal- for now He wants progress. He wants us improving ourselves. Righteousness isn't a position, it's a direction. We need to be constantly moving towards Him- but we won't be punished when we stumble and fall. Because we will. And when we trip and fall down to our knees, we are in the perfect position to pray. And Jesus will be right there to lovingly pick us back up and set us on our way. But not alone. Every hour, every day, every step, all the way. That's how often we need to be thinking of Him, and that is how often he promises He will be with us. It says it every week in the Sacrament prayer- we promise to always remember Him, and He promises we can always have His spirit to be with us. And in this process, His Atonement doesn't just fill the gaps- it fills us.
I testify of the truth of this Gospel, and the importance of the Atonement in our lives. I love our Savior, and I am so grateful for this opportunity to serve these next two years!
Love you all, and until next week!
Elder Tadje
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